Sleep Darts
by Ramona Bandicoot
Summary: When a sleep dart intended for a nearby guard hits someon else by mistake, things can get a little...hairy. -oneshot-


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Sly Cooper characters; they belong to Sucker Punch Productions.

**Claimer:** I own all of my original characters.

_Random little oneshot I thought up when I was really bored. It was nearing four in the morning when I wrote it so it's a little cruddy but I oh well! Anyway, please read and review! Thanks! _

Sleep Darts

"Okay Sly, I have the target in sight. All I have to do is let loose with my sleep darts and that painting is all ours!" Bentley whispered excitedly into my earpiece. I was perched on one of the display cases at the local museum. I had to wait for Bentley to put the guard to sleep before I could sneak in and make my move. I had to get to our intended painting before Ramona had a chance to sneak in ahead of us and swipe it for herself. Recently, we'd been doing a good deal of trying to out steal each other. Usually ending in one of us looking completely hilarious, with me being the one getting the short end of the stick. But this time I would be the one that came out on top and she would be the one looking like the fool. I waited in my hiding spot quietly while I waited for Bentley to take the guard out so we could get out of here with our prize. I heard the familiar click of Bentley firing off his dart gun and it would only be a matter of time until I could sneak past the guard and get this heist rolling. I was getting ready to get down from my post when I heard a very audible shout of pain come from a few rooms away. I recognized the voice and jumped down from the display case. I kept quietly into the room where the voice came from and peered in. I mentally groaned when my suspicions were confirmed.

"Cooper!" Ramona shouted after whirling around to face me, "He just shot me with a dart!" she tossed the emptied dart on the ground and it was obvious the skunk balm was starting to take effect on her. I flashed her a smile and chuckled to myself when she had to lean against a wall to keep her feet firm on the ground. Ramona wasn't the intended target for Bentley to hit. He was aiming for the guard that was supposed to be patrolling. I could only assume Ramona had gotten in the way when Bentley fired. I strolled up slowly to the drowsy thief and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well I have to say that this was a complete accident," I decided that messing with a drowsy Ramona would be fun before the skunk balm made her pass out, "but has anyone ever told you that the drowsy look is really attractive on you?"

"Save it, Cooper," she was starting to slur her words and it was humorous to watch, "I'm not here to banter with you. I'm here to do my job and that's what I plan on doing." She started leaning back and I grabbed her hips to keep her from falling backwards. I gently grabbed her by her cheeks to keep her steady and pulled her towards me.

"Are you sure you're going to be able to do it? You can barely stand." She nodded and we started leaning towards each other. Our snouts were only a few inches from each other and her eyes closed but instead of what I had planned, I felt her head fall from my paws and her face hit my chest. A snore came from her nostrils and I sighed.

"Well I can't say I tried." I muttered quietly.

My head whirled around and I looked towards the exit when I could hear police sirens start to close in on the building. I had to get out of there before the police got here but I couldn't leave a sleeping Ramona to the mercy of her sister and her team. So, I had to take her with me, but the problem was that how I was going to get her out of here. Since she was completely asleep, she more like a dead weight and it would be extremely difficult to get her out of here. I'd have to quickly find a way to carry her out of here without getting caught by the police. I didn't have a choice but to sling her over my shoulder and carry her like a sack of potatoes. With Ramona over my shoulder, I ducked into a hallway to make my escape. I kept a paw on her lower back to keep her on my shoulder. With her hips perched on my shoulder, her legs resting against my chest, and her snout hitting my back, she wasn't the easiest person to carry around. The police were starting to enter the building as I snuck out of the back door of the building. I stuck to the alley ways as I made my way to my hideout. Ramona lived on the opposite side of town and I wasn't about to carry her all the way there. I'd let her sleep on our couch or give her my bed if I had to and let her stay the night. After she woke up I'd have Bentley make sure the skunk balm from the dart was completely out of her system before letting her return home.

It took a while, but I eventually made my way to the hideout. I opened the door quickly and shuffled in. I was greeted by Murray who was kicked back in a recliner. He looked to me then looked to Ramona and raised and eyebrow. I shifted the thief from my shoulder and placed her on the couch. I stood and sighed happily when I finally got her off my shoulder. She was small, but when she was dead asleep and not trying to shift her weight, she was heavy. Murray turned the TV off and sat forward in his chair.

"Sly," he said after looked at the unconscious raccoon, "Bentley and I know you have a thing for her but don't you think kidnapping is a little extreme." I shot him a sideways glance and shook my head.

"Very funny," I muttered, "Bentley slipped with his aim and shot Ramona with one of his darts. Then the police showed up and we had to make a quick escape. She lives on the other side of town and I wasn't about to carry her all the way there." He chuckled and sat back in his chair. Bentley came in a few minutes later and glanced to Ramona.

"Don't you think kidnapping is a little extreme?" he muttered and I rolled my eyes.

"Again, very funny," Bentley laughed and looked over Ramona, "How long do you think she'll be out?" he sighed and rubbed is chin.

"Well, she's not responsive so I'd say a few hours," he clapped near her ear randomly poked her, looking for some sort of response, "Or overnight, I'm not really sure. That dart had more skunk balm than most of mine. That guard was supposed to be a big guy so I needed more skunk balm in order for him to stay asleep. But, with her weight, she's going to be out for a while." I glanced down to Ramona and an idea started forming in my head. We had been competing with each other quite often recently and since I was the one who was usually humiliated, it was Ramona's turn. And how could I ask for a better time than her completely out of it on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and searched for what I was looking for. I returned a moment later with a permanent marker and a pair of scissors.

"Sly," Bentley muttered when he realized what I was doing, "don't you do it. Don't you even think about it. This is Ramona were talking about. You can't do it, Sly. You're going to get shot! You're going to get stabbed!"

"Bentley," I sighed as I knelt down in front of Ramona and uncapped the marker, "she's a thief, not a gang banger. Besides, after her last stunt she did to me, this isn't that bad." I started drawing a small mustache on my rival and thought. Her last stunt Ramona pulled on me was completely emasculating. She had managed to sneak in one night and had somehow managed to put bright, highlighter pink color through my hair without me waking up. Along with the last few pranks she had pulled. All of this had started out by simply trying to out thieve one another but it somehow managed to escalate to see who could pull the best pranks on each other.

But this was all out of fun. None of it was done to emotionally harm, but it was funny when something wasn't done to you. Sure, she'd probably kill me for this, but it was worth it. I put the cap back on the marker and pulled out the scissors. I picked up random locks of hair from her ponytail and started snipping away. I wasn't going to cut all her hair off, but enough that would make her cut it a few inches. I trimmed her bangs down a little and cut away about ten different locks of hair from her ponytail. I stepped away and tossed the freshly cut hair away.

"She's going to kill you!" Bentley shouted after I returned the scissors to the kitchen.

"Bentley, I'm a master thief and I take my job seriously. I'm ruthless when it comes to competition. And if I have to cut her hair to prove a point, I will." I chuckled and flopped down in the chair next to Murray and across from Ramona.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I looked up from my book when Ramona started to stir on the couch. She sat up and stretched with a grunt. She looked around briefly to get her bearings but smile softly when she noticed me. Bentley and Murray had already gone to bed but I stayed up to see her expression when she saw her face. Her eyebrows furred and she sniffed before glancing to me.

"Do you smell permanent marker?" I put down my book and shook my head.

"Must be the skunk balm." She nodded and rubbed her eyes with a yawn. She stood stretched again with a long sigh.

"I'll be back," she said groggily. She started to head for the back of the hideout and it would only take a few minutes until she realized what I'd done. I stood myself and got ready to bolt out of the door.

"Cooper!" she shrieked a moment later, "What the hell happened to my hair!"


End file.
